“Sense your presence, the naked, unveiled, unclothed beingness. It is untouched by young or old, rich or poor, good or bad, or any other attributes.” Eckhart Tolle
Mindfulness is a word we hear often these days as we search for peace and for reprieve from the stress we have created in our lives. It is a practice that allows us to still our busy minds and come back to ourselves. To notice what is going on in our lives and to halt the whirlwind in our minds as we try and figure it all out; as we try and find meaning and purpose in what we do. While this is relevant in my exploration here, I would like to dive a little deeper into how it is one of the innate qualities of a child and that, for a child, it needs very little effort and/or consciousness to attain. I have therefore chosen to call this quality BEINGNESS.
Children spend 90% of their time in the NOW, experiencing all of life’s moments with their whole self. From the moment they are born they explore and experience their world with their mind, body and soul. They are present throughout life’s song, the melody, the purposeful pauses and the missed beats. They notice, and they are able to make connections that we can only imagine. Life is not linear or logical and children have this incredible ability to ride its roller coaster and accept the inevitable changes that essentially allow them to grow and learn at a mind-blowing rate.
Beingness is about experiencing life as it presents itself, AS IS!!! While children make connections between what they know and what is new they do not wallow in the past; and while they imagine the future, they are not consumed by it. Children do this naturally and unconsciously because they are so in tune with their natural living and learning processes. We, on the other hand, have lost touch with this natural human disposition and so need to consciously reconnect with it.
So what does this mean for us?
Beingness requires of us a certain surrender to the rich pattern of life, its ups and downs and everything in between. Beingness allows us to truly see ourselves and those that we love. To experience a situation AS IS we can access the truth and therefore make informed decisions about how to respond. An easy example as a parent, is when our children defy us or when they express really, really big emotions. Beingness will enable us to let go of how this makes us feel and our fear of what it means (about them and about ourselves), to see the truth and to give our children what they really need. We will be able to see the true emotion behind the big ones, like the sadness, frustration, loneliness, and rejection that most often lie behind an outburst of rage. Not only does this enable us to respond more effectively to our child but we are able to support them in understanding it themselves.
Beingness allows us to hold our egos at bay for just a moment so that we may learn the secrets that lie in the chaos of our lives. The gold here is that beingness gives us a pathway to respond to our lives with conscious intent rather than react from a place of emotional instability and fear.
How do we reconnect with our BEINGNESS?
- SLOW DOWN, life is not a race!
- SIMPLIFY your life and that of your family. Give yourself and them the gift of time and space, to experience life more fully. Choose the things that are truly important to you and your family.
- WATCH AND LISTEN more than you teach and tell.
- NOTICE YOUR TRIGGERS. When you are triggered take it as a sign of a story you hold to be true and make sure that it does not get in the way of your parenting.
- Become what I call a SHADOW DRAGON WARRIOR – learn about and master your emotions, feelings and the stories you have made up about yourself, others and the world. This requires you to take responsibility for your life and to embrace the fact that you are the Master of all you create.
- Be HONEST and search for the TRUTH, despite how it may make you feel. Be okay with being imperfect and allow yourself to feel all your feelings, even the bad ones.
Give BEINGNESS a try, I promise you it will not disappoint!!
I would love to hear what you think! If there is one aspect of this blog that resonates with you or challenges you, please share it with us!!!