One of the greatest aspects of my journey as a woman, a wife and a mother is getting to know myself again. While looking deeply at who we actually are despite everything going on in our lives is incredibly challenging, it is the most liberating thing you will ever do. It is also key to unlocking your life!!!! I believe the world needs people who have the courage to be unashamedly themselves. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we love and will one day love, to know ourselves. Most of us allow our true nature, our pleasure and our pain, to emerge only in the solitude of being alone. So I asked myself, “Who am I when no-one is looking?”
Well, if I am sad I cry, the loud ugly cry that stains your face red. I allow myself, for a moment, to wallow in my pain and my frustration. If I am alone for long enough I get to a point when the pain eases and I see the silver linings and the sunshine. I don’t feel judged for my weakness, I just feel it.
If I am happy I dance. I play my music really loud, I sing at the top of my lungs and I dance. How liberating… to dance without worrying if your hips are moving right. I can spend hours listening to melody that inspires my body to move and my heart to soar. I even dance when I am cleaning and I wonder if someone did see me, if they’d feel happy too.
Sometimes I watch girly movies, the ones that fulfil my romantic heart and make me laugh. I eat nut butter with a spoon. If I have had a moment of weakness and bought Nutella, that’s wonderful straight out of the jar too.
I day dream too and talk out loud to myself. I imagine things working out right in my life and play it out in my mind like a movie.
I love to write too, I allow my own words to inspire, challenge and move me. I allow myself to love who I am and what I have to offer the world.
My greatest challenge is to embrace who I am and what I love to do when I am out in the world, vulnerable to judgement. I was listening to a song by U2 and these words stuck with me, “If you don’t tell your stories, they don’t exist!” We can’t be mad a the world for not acknowledging or understanding us if we don’t have the courage to be ourselves in it.
I am not saying that from now on you will see me dance, but what I am saying is that I can acknowledge what it means about me and show that to the world; fearless and unashamed.
What do you do when no-one’s looking?
Do you have the courage to share it with the world?