LOOKING IN THE MIRROR…

This may sound silly but I have always tried to look at myself in the mirror and say that I am beautiful. While I have done it, I have never felt it and usually roll my eyes or dissolve in laughter.

It is different with my daughter. I place her in front of the mirror and say, “Look at how beautiful you are, don’t look away, just see how beautiful you are!” Although she smiles shyly at first, she does really look and I can see that in her eyes she sees beauty. That is as it should be.

I had a moment this morning when I got dressed for the day and looked in the mirror. I looked straight on, side ways and spun to the back and I spontaneously smiled. I left the bathroom and as I was making a cup of coffee it hit me that I have never done that before. Yes, I have faked it but never have I looked at myself and felt enough self-love that I genuinely smiled. It was one of the most incredible feelings that I have ever had.

I asked myself the obvious questions; “Why now?” and “What has changed?”

My answer…

In the last couple of months I have lost some weight, which in itself, feels amazing.   I am not, however, any super model and I am not even close to the role models we have in magazines. I still carry the memories of growing and birthing 3 adorable children and I guess I carry the secrets of time passing and a life lived. I am happy with what I look like but I realised it was not this that conjured up a smile.

I felt something else. I felt a love for where I am at in my life and to what I am doing everyday to express myself. The inner workings of my mind are dramatic, seemingly idealistic and romantic, and sometimes just down right crazy. However, I feel that I am finally stepping over the bridge of my fear. My fear of being criticized and my fear of failing at bringing my deepest desires into the reality of my life. There are three things that have come about;

  1. I am no longer scared of being criticized or of failing. I would rather live a life that is mine, and fail a few times or offend a few people, than to live someone else’s story. I have truly acknowledged that I am the Master of my life.
  2. I am consciously doing what I LOVE and I am learning everyday to trust myself.
  3. I am having a lot of fun. Living life is like creating a masterpiece on canvas; it is messy, colourful and really there are no rules apart from the ones I set for myself.

If you cannot look at yourself in the mirror and smile then ask yourself these three questions,

  1. Who is the Master Author of MY life? Is it me or is it someone or something else?
  2. Am I truly doing what I LOVE? Cast the musings of money, responsibility, roles, expectations and limitations aside for a moment, and seek out the truth.
  3. Am I having fun creating MY life?

Whatever your answer, Just breathe.

It is difficult to move forward if you don’t know where you are, so be honest and withhold any judgement.  You now have your starting point… a blank canvas!

It’s time to celebrate!

6 thoughts on “LOOKING IN THE MIRROR…

  1. Love this blog Sal, very open and vulnerable and I can relate a lot to it!! Well done for putting it out there and so happy for your “smile” 🙂

  2. I love ‘looking in the mirror’ it reminds me of a trip you and I did to Chinhoyi in Zim to take your licence test prior to leaving for Australia. We had lengthy discussions about who you are and how important it was to hold on to your own identity. We talked about your beauty, your magnetic personality, your compassion and your love for life. I remember saying there will be people who will be attracted to you and who you are. My words were “hold on to your own personality it is most precious and it identifies who you are”
    Look in the mirror and celebrate.
    I love you Sal
    You are very special
    Dad❤️

    1. I remember that trip. I can’t believe we went to the Minister of Transport!!! How many people had the Minister of Transport help them get their licence?

  3. I miss you, you have always come across as a warm, caring, confident person. I have such happy memories of time we spent together, thank you.
    I can so relate to looking in the mirror and loving what and who you see especially with two daughters and wanting them to find this inner peace. There are days I don’t look! There are days that I love who I see and then days I feel lacking. We just have to keep true to ourselves and yes, to enjoy the journey.

    1. So wonderful to here from you Avril! There are so many things I would change about our education but the one thing it gave me was you. I feel so blessed to have such a close connection with friends across the oceans and even though we have not seen each other for decades, we share a closeness and some incredible memories. It was so wonderful to hear from you xxx

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