When it came time for my oldest boy to start school I had 2 options. A fairly large private Anglican school or a small Steiner school. What I realise now is that both these choices brought up so much of my own stuff. I was making this decision from a place so full of conditioning and fear.
The first option: Private Anglican School
When my son and I visited the school I felt daunted by it’s authority. While I tried to hold the Principal’s attention as my son urinated against a tree, I became lost in the jargon and I noticed how physically unwell I began to feel.
The second option: Small Steiner School
This school was beautiful and had a lovely calmness to it. They were onto something. While all aspects of their philosophy did not necessarily resonate with my own, I felt inspired that they were doing something different. However, I was scared to do something different and to go against the norm.
I chose the Private Anglican School
I made this decision because I was too scared to break away from a system that I had learnt had the authority on all things children and all things education. In that moment I did not see the strength within myself, I did not trust myself to follow my instincts as a parent (first and foremost) and as an educator. I crumbled…
After a year and a little bit I couldn’t take it anymore, I pulled my son out of school and took him home. In that time he had been bullied, both by student and teacher and he had lost the glassy aliveness in his eyes. It took over a year to get it back and set him on a journey that was a little more difficult than it needed to be.
What I learnt here…
As parents we must trust our instincts, our instinct is our most powerful guidance system and ally.
We must be conscious of what lies beneath our decisions. Are we choosing our of FEAR or out of LOVE? Doing what is true and doing what we would love is not always easy and doesn’t’ always feel good, but it will always serve the highest good. Doing something out of fear never serves anyone.
Be inspired to search and to learn, be prepared to make mistakes and have the courage to get back up and start again.